Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This toilet bowl is my home.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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