Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just invented taco cereal.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
