We won't sleep together?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
