All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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