Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
