Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
