Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
