How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
