Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
