I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
