Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
