I feel like I'm in dance class right now
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just found a bag of teeth...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
