i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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