when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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