All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
