I'm jealous of your bromance
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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