I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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