In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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