I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
