She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
