everyone is single if you try hard enough
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
