Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
