Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
