i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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