dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
