I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
