Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
