We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize