i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
