I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
