What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
