Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
