I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
