Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize