Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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