I just pynch a tree in the face
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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