i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
