I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
