it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
