3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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