She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
