It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
