9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
