I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
