You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
