So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
