wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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