I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
