Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
