Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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