That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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