He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
