i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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