every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
