I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
