good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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