Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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