make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
