her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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