You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Semen is not good for contacts.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
