Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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