covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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