on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
