All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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