I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My vagina just recognized that song.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
