I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize