he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
